Time. Now there's something I could use more of! Right up there with dresses and chocolate. There are so many things that demand my time: classes, work, more work, homework, eating, wedding planning, fiance', and sleep, to name a few. I've come to the conclusion that something's gotta go. I wish it could be classes, or at the very least work, but if I quit the work, I'd have to quit the classes...which would in turn leave me without an education and working a fast food counter for the rest of my life.

"Would you like fries with that?"

Yeah. So I've decided sleep's gotta go. And I'll keep thinking that until I fall asleep. Then I'll pick something else to ignore.

But, as much as I'm sure you all care about my busy/crazy/hectic/insane schedule, that's not the time I want to talk about. I'd like to talk about wedding time.

Yesterday, Dave and I were looking at vows (which we REALLY need to figure out!), and what all we want to go into our ceremony. As I said in the previous post, I haven't spent much time thinking about the ceremony, because the reception and other over-all concerns have been filling my wedding-plate. While we were discussing this, we realized that we didn't really know what all was supposed to go into a ceremony! We know we don't want it to be too short (march in, I do, I do, big smooch, march out) but we don't want it to be too long either (mosey in, special music, special reading, more music, congregational sing, pastor's five point applicational sermon followed by an alter call, more special music, hand-written vows, traditional vows, big smooch, hug every guest on the way out).

All that to say, we don't know what to incorperate into our own ceremony! We like the idea of traditional vows, and don't feel the need to share personal vows with all our guests. However, we haven't looked at any music at all (processional through recessional), much less special music. We also haven't discussed if we want any Bible or poetry readings, or what we want our officiant to speak on in his charge to the couple.

I do believe we will encorperate the unity candle ceremony, but beyond that (and the traditional vows, the particulars of which we have not yet decided on), we don't really know what we're doing.

Do you have an example ceremony timeline from your wedding? We're looking for the ceremony to be 30ish minutes long, but we're open to any suggestions that will help us out!

Besides the ceremony, I also need to come up with a timeline for the reception, as well as a pre-wedding timeline (for the day of) so that I know we can get all the girls' hair done, get some lunch, take the pictures, set up the reception, etc. all before the ceremony. Hopefully we can do that without getting up before the sun. I am not a morning person.

I have no idea how long it will take to get our hair done, I suppose the first step would be to talk to Michele, as well as find at least one more hairdresser to help us out and figure out how long it takes to do five girls' hair.

Then I also have to talk to the photographer and find out how much time he anticipates needing. We'll have to decide where to take the pictures, and set aside enough time for that.

I'm positive I'm forgetting something. Maybe a lot of somethings. Help? What else goes into a pre-wedding timeline?

The reception timeline will be easier, because Dave DJ's wedding (and birthday parties, and powerlifting, and life) in his free time, and has helped design timelines for receptions for other brides.

But I still need your help! I really need ideas for the ceremony, because I'm totally stumped on that. I can still use design and decorating ideas, too! Plus, if you have any idea what I could be forgetting for the morning of the wedding, let me know!! It would be so helpful!

This weekend, we went to the church where we will be having our ceremony. It is Dave's church (mine used to be a school, and isn't built very well for weddings!) back home. We signed the contract (finally), and looked at the sanctuary, the other rooms we'll be using, and the decorations they have available. This was the first time my mom's really been there, so it was really good for her to see everything. I had no idea what all they had available, and thankfully they do lots of weddings, and have lots of decorations that we can use for free! However, I've hardly spent any time thinking about the ceremony, because the reception takes so much more effort (it's a shame, because really, while the reception is longer, the ceremony is more important!).

So, basically, I need your help! This is the sanctuary:


It's currently decorated for Easter. The whole stage will be cleared off for us, meaning the chairs, the modesty rail, the communion table, etc.

These are some of the decorations availiable:
They have flowers in every imaginable color that we can decorate the stage with, as well as pew bows and holders, tulle, white Christmas lights, and so much more I don't even remember. However, I think this is my favorite part:

Actually, my favorite part would be those rectangular beams lying on the floor there between the pillars. Those make a frame that can go over the pillars. As all my favorite ceremony pictures have been of Jewish weddings and their huppas, or canopies, I love this idea!

Here are some of the ideas I have:
This is a huppa. Yes, we are Christian, but there is nothing that says I can't borrow the lovely idea of a canopy for my own wedding! Symbolically, it stands for the home that the couple will build together.

I'm trying to decide if I want to use the basic white puffy pew bows that the church has, or if I want to come up with something of my own. Ideas?

OK, now I need help! Even with these few ideas, I have no idea what to do! I've spent little time dwelling on the decor of the ceremony, and many of the inspiration pictures I have are of outdoor weddings! What have you seen done that worked well? What did you do? What do you think I should try? I could really use the advice!

Traditions are wonderful things. They give us something to look forward to, and help us know what to expect. They give us guidelines as to how to behave in specific situations. But traditions are just that: guidelines.

Don't get me wrong...I love traditions! Every year I look forward to doing the same things for Christmas. I love traditions for holidays, Sunday afternoons, and Saturday mornings. But my favorites are the traditions we make ourselves. As such, I am not largely tied to traditions that are there just because "it's always been that way." Especially for my wedding.

I'm excited about traditions like wearing white, the veil, even "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue!" But there are other traditions that I don't know how I feel about them.

For example, the various traditions surrounding the ever-present wedding cake. These include the cutting (and the subsequent smashing) of the cake, the freezing of the top layer (because newlyweds like freezer-burned cake?), and the staleness that is necessitated by how long it takes to frost the intricate buggers. I don't even like cake, and have never once had a wedding cake that tasted good. I have heard they do exist, and I'll believe you. But I have yet to experience it. We will have a cake at our wedding, but neither of us are devoted to cake, so it will be a small one, big enough to serve to those for whom it is not a wedding without cake.

Another wedding tradition I am on the fence about is the garter toss. I thought it was a fun compliment for the bouquet toss, until I found out where this tradition originated. Apparently, in Medieval Europe after the wedding ceremony all of the guests would attend the consummation of the marriage so as to watch and ensure the bride was a virgin. The garter toss came in when they became so eager to help the new couple along in this process that they removed her underclothes for her! I am very glad I'm getting married in 2010!

Anyway, there is one tradition that I have been dealing with rather thickly this past week, and that is the tradition of not letting the groom see the bride before the wedding. This tradition dates back to arranged marriages, where the groom was kept from seeing the bride, for if she was unattractive and he found out before the ceremony, he could back out.

Now days, many brides don't allow their grooms to see them before the ceremony the day of because it builds anticipation. This often extends to the dress beforehand, as well. While I very much respect this tradition, I don't know that it is practical for me. You see, for me, the most important opinion about my dress is that of my fiance, and if he can't see what I'm looking at, how will I know that I've picked one he will like?

While Dave has reassured me over and over that he will like anything I choose, and that I will be gorgeous no matter what, I still covet his opinion. So, I have no problem sharing with him the pictures of my shopping trips. This way, he can point out what he likes, and doesn't like.

Also, I am planning on listening to Dave's opinions, but not telling him which dress I settle on in the end. This much, at least, I will do my best to keep a surprise.

So it's not that I don't respect traditions. I do! And I'm ready to embrace many of them. But I'm most eager to make a wedding that is truly "us," and in the future to create traditions that we love. This is far more important to me than Medieval superstitions!